Which running dog are you? 10 types of dog to choose from!

This week, boy on the run tackles one the big issues of running: which running dog would you be?

1. Greyhound

“…when he is not running, the greyhound tends to spend most of his time biting children and pooing in gardens…”

Sleek, fast, light and highly compact, the greyhound likes to run. In fact when he’s not running the greyhound tends to spend most of his time biting children and pooing in gardens. It isn’t all good though… Sure the greyhound is fast, but every now and then they will give up on the first bend, especially if they get muscled out by a bigger, more aggressive dog.

Speed : 10
Endurance : 6
Temperament : 3
Character : 1

 

2. Bulldog

Oy! This is my race pace: Stationery.

Lets be honest, the bulldog isn’t built for running. Really, he’s not even terribly well built for breathing. He’s fat, smokes a pack a day, has no running technique and is the only dog that wears an ASBO bracelet.  Really he is the embodiment of modern Britain.  He does have one ace up his sleeve however, and that he always runs his heart out. He is what Steve Jones would be like with bad parenting.  You’ll see this guy making up places in the last six miles of a marathon.

Speed : 1
Endurance : 7
Temperament : 1
Character : 9

 

3. Dachshund

“C’mon boy! Run towards the hot dog bun…”

The dachshund is another dog that really isn’t a natural runner.  The dachshund is primarily built to be difficult to spell, to win the coveted Crufts “Dog Limbo” and to sit nicely in a hot dog bun.  Dachshunds are obsessed with their cadence.  You will often be accosted by a dachshund after training, vainly pointing at the 250 steps per minute cadence that he claims to have held for the last hour.  It breaks your heart to point out that he’s actually only gone 11 metres.

Speed : 2
Endurance : 2
Temperament : 8
Character : 8

4. Siberian Husky

“The husky is instinctively aware that he’s bigger, faster, fluffier, stronger, cuter and more expensive than you.”

The husky is one of the best running dogs around.  Their calm demeanour belies the fact that the husky is instinctively aware that he’s bigger, faster, fluffier, stronger, cuter and more expensive than you.  Unfortunately, the husky has two critical weaknesses.  The first is that they can’t run on their own, and if they lose sight of their mates in a big race, they are finished.  The other is that they absolutely hate a hot race.  This one isn’t going to be winning the Badwater Ultramarathon.

Speed : 9
Endurance : 9
Temperament : 6
Character : 7

5. Border Collie

“It is often difficult to induce a dog to run a marathon. With a border collie you just need to be able to throw a ball 13.1 miles.”

The Border Collie is one enthusiastic guy.  He’ll go anywhere and do anything at any time.  He loves his owner and he loves his life.  He also loves his running, if that is what he thinks his owner wants him to like. He also loves retrieving.  It is often difficult to induce a dog to run a marathon. With a border collie you just need to be able to throw a ball 13.1 miles.  The only problem is  if you are waiting to spur him on at the 20 mile mark, he might spend the next six hours sitting at your feet and chewing a Frisbee.

Speed : 8
Endurance : 8
Temperament : 9
Character : 6

6. Portuguese Water Dog

“The Portuguese Water Dog is a multi-discipline super athlete.”

The Portuguese Water Dog is a working dog and was originally used to herd fish into nets.  This makes the breed ideally suited to multi-discipline events such as triathlon and Irondog.  They are also extremely competitive in the hurdles and steeplechase and often place highly in the Dogathlon. Yes, dogathlon.

Speed : 9
Endurance : 9
Temperament : 9
Character : 7

7. Chicken

This one isn’t a dog. Well spotted. 10 points for Gryffindor.

Speed : N/A (Not a dog)
Endurance : N/A (Not a dog)
Temperament : N/A (Not a dog)
Character : N/A (Not a dog)

8. Poodle

“If you make me run… I’ll see to it that the servants have you shot.”

The poodle is naturally a very strong runner. The only problem with the breed, is you might end up with one that is like the picture.  One that is called “Boo Boo” or “Princess” and sure as hell isn’t going to do any running.  The poodle is always a gamble.  And you may find after 5 hours yours is still at the start line looking at itself in the mirror.

Speed : 1/7
Endurance : 1/7
Temperament : 1/9
Character : 0/8

9. Doberman

“When I get to the next drink station, I’m going to tear the throat out of the volunteer scouts…”

Dobermans are more suited to sprinting. The sort that ends with someone being knocked to the ground and having their spinal chord removed through their throat.  I wouldn’t recommend lining one up next to 38 000 other of what it calls “prey”.  To be honest, I wouldn’t even try and pin the number on one.  Not a middle-distance running dog.

Speed : 9
Endurance : 3
Temperament : 0
Character : 3

10. Komondor

“He is running… I think…”

Initially designed as a means of cleaning floors with zero effort, the Komondor would have been an awesome dog if he didn’t have 15kg of mop fabric to carry around.  As it is he is more often deployed after the marathon as a “course-cleaning endurance dog”. Yeah, one of those…

Speed : 5
Endurance : 4
Temperament : 5
Character : 10

 

Which dog would I be?

I am a cross between a greyhound and a border collie.  I’m a border collie because I’m mindlessly enthusiastic about things like intervals but also “a bit thick”.  I’m a greyhound because you can count my ribs and because I often bite small children.

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